A simple way to understand team USA’s world cup standings

Just to break it down for you non-soccer fans. If USA beat Germany, it’s all good, UNLESSĀ Portugal beat Ghana and there are an even number of referees eating sandwiches off-side with their right hands. In that case, they are not going to the next round. Germany that is, unless Ghana lose to Portugal while not singing after eating peanut butter. Makes sense right? The two matches take place at the same time in the same country, but different stadiums, ‘cos this way, it’s not confusing for any of the players.